A Sense Sublime
by Bookish Brownie
Summary: Remus and Tonks share a quiet evening. OOTP era.


"Why don't you just conjure some flames?" Dora asked from her spot kneeling next to him.

"I've found that the fire is much more satisfying if you chop the logs and start the fire the Muggle way." Remus lit a match and watched the flames leap from piece to piece, immediately adding light and warmth to the room.

They were in his old family home in the Wye Valley on the border between England and Wales. It was only the second time he had brought her here. The first time he had meant to tell her something important, something that he had never said to another woman. But that was the night Arthur Weasley was attacked. They were interrupted before he could say the words. He'd doubted he could have gone through with it anyway.

Now, it was more than two months later. The feelings that were still waiting for full expression would not be denied. He trusted his courage and their relationship more than ever.

He stretched out on the floor with a cushion under his head. Meanwhile, Dora rested her head on his torso and lay perpendicular to him, her raspberry hair fanning out behind her. They settled into a comfortable silence as he brought his right arm down to rest across her middle, and the fingers of her left hand entwined with his. His free hand played with her hair and occasionally massaged her temple or ran along her features.

If someone had told him a year ago that he would be lying like this with a young woman of such vivacity, prospects, and brilliance, in every sense of the word, he would have smiled sadly and shaken his head. But now that he was he couldn't imagine _not _being with her. He wasn't normally given to bouts of sentimentality, but emotions that had been prodding him for months were becoming ever more insistent. And he almost said the words that he had been planning to say all night.

The last time he'd almost told her he'd just given Dora a tour of the house that his great-great-grandfather had built. He quoted Muggle poetry about the region at her, and she'd smiled so broadly that he almost believed that what he had to offer her could be enough forever.

But something held him back. He didn't want to disturb this moment of perfect calm within the ever wider circle of war and despair that always swirled around them. He had never simply been with a woman like this, not kissing, not asleep, just _being_. It was a truly intimate experience; he had never felt such harmony with another person. There was no need for verbal communication because they knew each other and had no secrets.

The words were on the tip of his tongue, but, despite his earlier confidence, he couldn't do it. There would be chance enough to tell her some other night, when the warmth of the fire was not lulling him into blissful drowsiness, when he could form more coherent thoughts than appreciating the sensations of having Dora resting against him with total relaxation. A voice in the back of his head named him the vilest sort of dithering idiot, but he ignored it in favor of his contentment.

----

Tonks considered herself a woman of action. She fought to bring down Death Eaters, she often spoke before she thought, and she was not afraid to work hard. Most people thought that she was all about bright colors and cheerful clumsiness and excitement. And they were right most of the time.

But she couldn't deny how right it felt to lie like this with Remus. It spoke to a deeper part of her, where words were superfluous and she didn't need to put on the wide grins or loud laughs that everyone expected of her. She had never experienced this level of emotion in the past. She had had a couple of boyfriends, but they had all been like her, fun, quirky, and not quite belonging anywhere.

But this was different. Completely different. If someone had asked her to define exactly what she was feeling, she wouldn't have been able to describe it exactly, not having anything to which to compare it. She could only think of one word to put to it, but she didn't want to presume. Because she knew that once she labeled it, there would be no going back.

Sometimes she didn't know what Remus saw in her. She was a menace to inanimate objects, socially awkward, and loud while he was smooth and poised and witty. She knew that deep down they weren't as different as they seemed on the surface, but she still had to wonder. However, she wasn't going to let insecurities ruin her evening.

She had learned a lot tonight. Remus told her more about his past and his family. She discovered that he was a decent cook. And, most enlightening of all perhaps, she learned that she really ought to wear the rich magenta curls more often because Remus seemed to love twirling it around his fingers so much.

As the night wore on, she realized regretfully that she should probably get up before she lost whatever will she had to leave left. Which was almost nonexistent. But Remus had not made any indication that he wanted her to stay the night. When she sat up, he made a vague sound of protest, but he soon joined her. "I should probably go; and an early Auror rises with the sun…"

"I understand." He looked up at the clock that read one o'clock. "I didn't realize it was so late." He stood in a fluid motion, which was only marred by a slight creaking in his joints, and offered her a hand. She was flattered by the disappointment that she couldn't fail to read on his face.

"Me neither." She stepped closer and kissed him slowly and thoroughly.

He walked her the short distance to the door and held her close for a minute. When he pulled away slightly to look at her, he seemed about to say something, but, instead, he leaned down and kissed her once more. "Good night, Dora."

She grinned at him. "Sweet dreams, Remus." A moment later she was standing on the porch with the wintry wind whipping around her, about to Apparate, when-

"Nymphadora, wait!" She turned, thinking something was wrong. His eyes burned into hers, but he didn't seem distressed. He looked full of purpose and determination. There was a light behind his eyes that she thought- hoped- she had seen flickers of before, but she could never be sure. "I love you."

If she were honest with herself, she would say that she had longed to hear those words fall from his lips for far longer than she should have. He began to look uncertain, but he continued, "I've been planning to tell you all evening, but there was never quite the right moment." She could think of a few moments that would have been perfect, but she remained silent. "I had to tell you, though."

Their lips met, softly at first and then more insistently. She finally pulled away reluctantly. "That was unexpected."

He quirked a brow at her. "Was it?"

"Well, you haven't said it before."

"Neither have you."

She shrugged. "I didn't want to scare you off. Besides, I thought I was being obvious enough."

"You always have been." His grin softened into a tender smile before he pressed his mouth to hers again. Somewhere in the back of her mind, which apparently wasn't as affected by Remus snogging her senseless as the rest of her, she realized that she hadn't told him that she loved him.

As he released her mouth to kiss other parts of her face, she was able to say, "Well, I do love you." She thought she had never seen such a brilliant smile on his face.

The jocularity dropped out of his manner, and he looked at her earnestly. "Thank you." They held each other more tightly. This was real. It wasn't the first time that the thought had occurred to her, but it struck her more forcefully than ever that she was in love and loved in return.

She didn't feel the cold as she stood entwined with Remus outside his front door. She thought it was possible that she wouldn't feel the cold again.


End file.
